he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
