Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
sex in a hospital.. check
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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