Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
