youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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