my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Holy shit dude........stairs
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