So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
