Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
nutella sex= disaster
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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