I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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