She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
