what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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