Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
