Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
