ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
