So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
It's official drugs can't kill me
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
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