No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
