he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
