Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
