How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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