Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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