He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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