if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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