no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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