I molested 6 butterflies tonight
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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