bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
