I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
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