At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
