The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
