i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
