new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
