That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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