She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
