Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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