West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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