Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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