she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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