I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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