people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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