Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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