i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
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Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
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He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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