if you like me you must not know who I am
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
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he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
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Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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