she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Drake has all the answers
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
