Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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