you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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