Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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