dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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