I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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