she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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