Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
