He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
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Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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