i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
