Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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