DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My bed smells like the plague
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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