The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
