New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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