Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
