I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
