i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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